Holding On...Keep going?
What is 'Holding on..' and how does it relate to art??
Where to start exploring, this is my biggest hurdle right now!
So, as I always do, I shall write as I think and feel...explore this area with you by my side, if that's ok?
Some people are aware that I have personal struggles and things have been and continue, to be very testing. However, here I am, 'speaking' with you still. So somehow I hold on...I keep going.
I see, read, listen to an increasing number of celebrities speaking out about their mental health difficulties. We all have a 'mental health. and I can pretty much assume, each of you have at some time, struggled in some way.
Our Mental health impacts, influences everything in our lives. It takes us, as an individual, from one place to another. Sometimes that other place is so dark that it can seem impossible to find a way out of. Sometimes, people don't...they choose to leave, others hold on...ride the turmoil.
Everything changes, that is one thing that we have to accept...the good fades, the dark lightens, our thoughts move from constructive to destructive, our behaviour moves from helpful to static and self sabotaging. We can withdraw...we can become the most social person around! All of these things are real, each are a challenge and as people, we still try so hard to banish the 'bad' and retain the 'good'... always...no rollercoaster, no difficult times...but guess what...that would make no sense.
How would we recognise something that feels good if we've never experienced what feeling bad is??
So, I wonder about how 'we' can hold on through this ever changing thing that's called life.
It will be different for each of you, sometimes you'll choose the 'wrong' path...believing it's the 'right' or only path available.
What's interesting to me at this point in my life...is that there are SO many reasons to NOT hold on...to choose NOT to keep going....who would want to live with what I have to deal with right now. But...still here!
Something is keeping me, enabling me to hold on. Some of 'it' eludes me entirely to be honest but I do know that things that are my life blood, are playing a huge part...these being, my artwork, my writing...my creativity. Don't be mistaken that I'm referring to an 'activity'...I'm referring to how my art and my writing is always authentically me. Each and every word, ink mark, paint stroke, sculpture has and will always hold within it part of my soul. So for me I am using this vital part of who I am to act as a life raft...keeping me afloat, just sufficiently to hold on...keep going.
I have no knowledge of where the current is taking me, what lay ahead...good or bad. But I take it one moment at a time and most often I don't speak about what I'm experiencing...only as a thought or feeling that travels through my arm into the pen or brush...that's where my words form, my expression.
Sometimes my artwork or narratives are lost and adrift, display hurt, a wish to flee and at other times they are bright and full of 'life', me having a good day. I have tried to force it...make myself create only positive, bright and uplifting art but it just isn't authentic, it lacks something crucial to it's uniqueness... that part that is missing is my thoughts, my emotions...the current me.
I am starting a series of artworks, (alongside any others that I'm asked to do) where I am going to explore this 'holding on'. I don't know what will emerge and some pieces I may wish to keep private but here will be lots I would be willing to share with you; perhaps with an accompanying narrative...to help me hold on, to explore what that feels like and for us all to find out what it looks like.
So, I invite you to take this journey with me and discover alongside my own self discovery...who knows, there may be some wonderful new techniques and creations that appeal to many of you... I shall be adding a #HoldingonbyAdele to these pieces so you will recognise that they are part of the intended series of artwork. I would LOVE you to get involved, through comments, messaging (as so many of you have already been doing and I thank every one of you for that compassion and kindness...without knowing what it is I'm dealing with). It may be that you share my work...spread the word. That would be incredible, if one piece or this blog touches someone and makes a difference...then that's the ultimate for me.
I am here for others, I think...not for myself.
Wishing you all a way to find your feathers, maybe even your wings, learn to fly again and let each moment be one where you hold on...xx